I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
