Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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