I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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