Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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