absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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