please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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