belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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