I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
