Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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