Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
