Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
