Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you had me at cake vodka
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
