Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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