you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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