Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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