My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
