do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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