i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
