Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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