Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
