I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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