i don't like sucking hair
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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