My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
