Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize