if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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