If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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