mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
