There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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