I'm so fucking centered right now
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
