your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
