Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
