My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize