The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
this is an emotional support booty call
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up under a house in Key West
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
