I skipped work to stalk him.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is it penis luge time yet?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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