I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
