yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
