Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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