I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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