just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
