I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
