There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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