I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
