carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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