it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
this is an emotional support booty call
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize