i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
