You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
