So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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