..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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