I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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