The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize