i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
