is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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