Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
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