mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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