The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
