I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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