Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
