i barfeds in our rink
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
