why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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