It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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