2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
