Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
