Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
