Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
