sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize