So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
