Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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