Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
